your family update
You Backed them and things began to change
Stephanie
Donor
“I kept begging everyone for help before turning to this.”
Ruwanmali lives in a rented house in Colombo with her two daughters. She has been separated from her husband for 4 years. Despite asking for alimony, she has received no financial support from him, and she endured domestic violence during the marriage.
Her elder daughter is preparing to sit her G.C.E. Ordinary Level examination. Her younger daughter, 10, lives with a serious medical condition affecting her right eye — the eye was surgically removed and replaced with a prosthetic, and she needs ongoing clinic visits to manage it.
Facing all of this alone, Ruwanmali struggled to cover daily expenses and her daughter’s medical costs. With no one to turn to for support, she began earning money through sex work to provide for her family and keep the children fed and in school. She did what she had to do to look after them
Ruwanmali still keeps working to hold her family together, covering what her daughters need. But she wants to have an income that brings her dignity, not takes it away. She wants to take care of her children well and educate them, to have enough food on the table and to build a home for them to grow up safe in.
Please note for many women sharing in written form is not easy. We sit with women to support them to share their story and have added context so you can weave together what you have made possible.
Dear Miss Stephanie,
I am Ruwanmali, and I live in the Colombo area. I have two daughters. I have been living separately from my husband for about four years.
Both my daughters are still studying. My elder daughter is sitting for her G.C.E. Ordinary Level examination this year. My younger daughter is ten years old. She has a serious medical condition affecting her right eye, and I regularly have to take her to clinics. She underwent surgery on her right eye and and it was removed completely and replaced with a plastic eye. I live on rent in a small house with my two daughters.
I have had to face all these problems alone. I have to find money for our daily expenses and for my daughter’s treatment. Because of the difficult circumstances in my life, I had to earn money through sex work. I did not have anyone to support me or help me provide for my children.
(At the time we met Ruwanmali, her family was struggling with the deep poverty. With yours and Palmera’s support, she found the strength to save her own money and start a business, helping her family recover and rebuild their lives.)
It was during this period that I learned about the Palmera village savings group. I shared all my burdens with the Palmera officials, and I felt like they were like a god who had come searching for me. I don’t know what I would have done hadn’t I joined the programme. If not for them I would still be falling at people’s feet for help.
They bought my daughter school supplies. When the floods took everything we had, they brought us many goods. Those packages were very precious to us, who had lost everything. I was also given assistance to develop a livelihood and was encouraged to believe that I could build a better future.
(Palmera established the village bank in his village to develop financial literacy, a place to save and revolve their savings as loans to reduce their debt from predatory lenders. Through the village bank, people come together each week to talk, to share what is going on and support each other. This is a foundation for change. Because change happens in community and that is exactly what these structures support.)
I told them that I am good at sewing. Then they bought me a sewing machine. And they bought me material too. That’s how I started my own business. I am now carrying out my work with great interest and enthusiasm. I am able to earn an income and take care of some of my household expenses. I earn about 100,000 LKR a month now.
It’s from this money that I handle all my household expenses. I pay my rent, provide for my daughters and support their education and medical needs. After my husband left us, I asked him to pay us alimony, but he never did. Now I don’t have to beg anyone for help. This has given me a sense of independence and dignity.
(Through the programme, Ruwanmali has been able to place her children’s education at the centre of her household planning. When a mother can pay school fees without crisis or borrowing, children stay in school. And with that, the path forward for the next generation begins to open.)
I always think about how I can improve my business day by day. My dream is to expand this with a few more machines and have a small garment factory at home. I also want to take on more orders. After paying the household expenses, I try to save about Rs. 1,000 each month in the bank every month. I started banking and dealing with banks only after I started this business.
(Ruwanmali previously was not engaged in earning a living income but today through continued mentorship and training she is able to engage economically and this has allowed her income to increase and to meet her basic needs.)
When I’m working, I don’t feel the day going. I can complete my work while also caring for my children, and we are able to spend our time together more happily.
Miss Stephanie, I received all these opportunities because of the support you gave me. Without that support, I might still be living in the same difficult circumstances as before. It is because of your help that I have been able to come this far. Thank you very much for helping me create a livelihood and for helping to make both my future and my children’s future better.
Thank you.
Ruwanmali
Our work continues with Ruwanmali. She has begun the journey to stand on her own, but lasting change takes time. We will walk alongside her for one more year before letting go of her hand. It is this continued accompaniment that makes all the difference. And this is possible because of you. Thank you.
