your family update
You Backed them and things began to change
Mayu Thavarajah
Donor
“I engaged in sex work to make sure I could feed them and send them to school.”
Pathmaseeli lives in the Colombo district with her son and two of her daughters, part of a family of 8 in total. She separated from her husband 14 years ago. He died by suicide 2 years ago, leaving her to raise her children entirely on her own.
Each of her children carries a heavy burden of their own. Her son is deaf and unable to work. Her oldest daughter lives with kidney failure, which comes with constant medical costs. Her third daughter, a survivor of abuse, was sent to a special home after becoming pregnant, and now cares for her own child there.
To pay rent, feed her children, and cover the cost of their medicine and treatment, Pathmaseeli has engaged in sex work. It is what has kept a roof over their heads and her children in school, even as the money for medicine alone takes so much of what she earns.
She carries all of this largely alone, facing not just poverty but the stigma attached to how she earns a living. Before she found support, she had nowhere else to turn. In her own words, she would have still been “begging at people’s feet for help.”
Despite everything, Pathmaseeli perseveres for her family. She wants her children’s illnesses properly treated, relief from the stigma and hardship she has carried alone, and a real, stable future for the family she has held together. That is what she is working toward.
Dear Mayu,
I hope you are well. I live in the Colombo district with my children. I have 2 daughters and a son with me. I separated from my husband 15 years ago. He committed suicide three years ago. My third daughter was sexually violated and was sent to a special home because she became pregnant with a child. She is there now. My son struggles with disability. He is deaf. My oldest daughter has a kidney issue. And I raised my child with great difficulty. Their medical expenses cost me a lot. I had to pay rent to keep a roof over our head. I engaged in sex work to make sure I could feed them and send them to school and educate them. A lot of money is needed to buy medicine for the children. They have many illnesses.
(At the time we met Pathmaseeli, her family was struggling with the deep poverty and loneliness that followed her husband leaving them. With yours and Palmera’s support, she found the strength to save her own money and start a business, helping her family recover and rebuild their lives.)
It’s with all these troubles on my mind, that I engaged in sex work. And that’s when I meet the team from Palmera. And I was able to share my worries and pain with the lady who spoke to me. She felt like a goddess who came to help me. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t met her. I would have still been begging at people’s feet for help.
When they realized that we didn’t have enough to eat, the Palmera organization gave us nutritious food for our meals. At the time I was even responsible for looking after my grandson and sending him to school. They also bought some school supplies for him. And then they helped put together a plan for me, that would help me have my own income stream from home.
They recognized the talents and skills that I had and realized that I am able to make Sri Lankan sweet meats and short eats. They bought me the utensils, equipment and ingredients I needed to start this business. Now I handle many order, during the festive months we complete a lot of orders and my daughter helps me to make sure we send them out on time, without delay.
I made plans. So, from that day on, whenever I told them at home I was going out, I gave with happiness. I felt a great happiness in my heart, thinking that it was okay for me to go. I do it with love, and the institution provided it with help and support. She is also very happy engaging in this work. I now make about 1 lakh and 10,000 Rupees monthly.
It’s from this money that I pay the house rent and buy food for the family. After spending on all our needs, I also make it a point to save 10,000 Rupees in the bank every month. The mental relief I feel because of this work is very high. Now I don’t need to walk the streets looking for money.
I am so happy that I get to spend my time with the children at home and that I can all do this business along with their help. I want to take on more orders and grow my business. In this way I want to increase my income in the future.
Apart from how I am living today, I dream of one day buying some land and building a house of my own. Then I can live happily with all my children in our own home. I know that all the things I have now was made possible because Ms.Mayu helped me and my family. If not for you, we would be living the terrible life we were living before. We were able to come this far because of you.
I don’t have enough words to thank you. You helped me reach a target that not just made my life better but has helped me secure a future. My sincere, heartfelt thanks to you.
Pathmaseeli
Our work continues with Pathmaseeli. She has begun the journey to stand on her own, but lasting change takes time. We will walk alongside her for one more year before letting go of her hand. It is this continued accompaniment that makes all the difference. And this is possible because of you. Thank you.
